“Women are angels, but when our wings are broken, we continue to fly……. on broomsticks, we are flexible like that!!”……..I love that quote, have no idea who said it!
As an Obgyn I am constantly amazed at the strength of a woman. How much we endure physically and emotionally. The various changes the body undergoes right from attaining puberty; the changing body in pregnancy and through menopause. It is not easy to stay focused on fitness routines or pay attention to physical appearance. There is just so much going on. Besides the hormonal swings, we have families, careers, hobbies, friends, competitors and loved ones to deal with. Yet we do! Beautifully!!!! (Well, most of the time anyway!)
If you doubt yourself in any way, endure criticism or pointless comments especially about physical appearance; remember what an extraordinary job you are already doing. Remember to tell yourself that your life is yours alone. Others opinions are not always relevant.
I believe we are all capable of great things,
I believe we have it within us.
I believe we are truly capable of healing ourselves just as we help and heal those around us.
For this to happen we need to accept a simple truth –
We need to stop playing the victim, get over ourselves and stop getting in our own way of realizing our potential.
Here are what I find the 5 most common self-defeating attitudes:
– Self-pity – The easiest thing to do is to indulge in self-pity.
‘I have no time’,
‘I do ALL the work myself’,
‘I am a career woman AND I look after home and children’.
‘I get no help from my husband or the rest of the family’,
‘ My boss is over demanding’ and so on.
These pessimistic thoughts can keep one from actually finding solutions to problems that may very well be real, but are certainly not irredeemable. Most women these days are confronted work, family and a hundred other things and expected to sustain high performance levels. One is not alone. If one really chooses to face up to ones circumstances and work around the problem, it is possible to do so. Granted there may be other sacrifices to be made. But again, these are CHOICES that one makes.
– Not being honest about lifestyle choices – We may have a tendency to avoid the truth if not be outright dishonest. I have counseled several women who swear they “hardly eat anything”, “exercise all the time”, “have absolutely NO TIME to exercise” and so on. This may be far from the truth and does nothing but prevent progress. It is best to lay all the cards on the table, accept responsibility and try to find honest solutions to real problems, not make-believe ones. This is pure self-sabotage because the only one harmed by avoidance strategy is oneself.
– Laying the blame on other people or situations – It is easier to blame someone or something else for one’s life situation. Be it being over weight, unhealthy, depressed, having to handle career and family or even, not being able to work outside of home but having to stay a house-wife. Blaming someone else makes the situation seemingly easier to deal with. In reality, it is not. Trying to lay the responsibility of ones life choices on someone else takes away the power from oneself. It creates a sense of helplessness, deepens self-doubt and lowers self-esteem. Once again, it is a CHOICE one makes. A decision whether to take responsibility for ones own life, mistakes and all, or consistently lay the blame on someone else.
– Not seizing an opportunity for improvement when it is available – Oftentimes, even when one is faced with an opportunity for change, one is unable to exploit it. For various reasons, some of which are listed above. Opportunities are available all the time. One has to be open to them. One has to be willing to face the challenge if there is to be any improvement. It is not always easy to change ones lifestyle, eating habits, activity, thought process and so on. However, change is inevitable if there has to be progress.
– Always looking for a quick fix or an easy way out – Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Therefore, if it is a better quality of life, a better body, a fitter mind that one is looking for, it takes time and effort. Believing in quick-fix solutions, vacillating from one extreme diet to another in the hope of quick weight loss, trying bizarre exercise plans, pills and potions are not long-term solutions. Nothing is worse for ones moral than regression. Regression is what happens when one finally realizes these temporary solutions don’t work.
Setting aside these self-defeating attitudes can create the right environment for growth from strength to strength. It is not always easy. One is so often tempted to let go and blame the world for our condition including out weight gain or poor fitness.
– “It’s the fast food industry to blame.”
– “It’s the internet and TV that make us so sedentary”,
– “It’s my husband/mother-in-law who drive me to eat too much”. Whatever the excuse, it’s just that – An Excuse.
Every one of us does have a CHOICE that we can exercise with respect our own lives. We can choose not to eat unhealthy food, not to sit in front of the TV for hours on end, not to let other people’s attitudes intrude on our peace of mind. It is a choice. Perhaps not an easy choice, but a choice nevertheless.
As I said, we ARE capable of amazing things. I have seen it in the most unusual women –
– A poor village housewife doing a brilliant job of bringing up responsible, remarkable children.
– An elite socialite with her own sense of responsibility to society, working tirelessly for a cause.
– A busy doctor reinventing herself by losing an incredible amount of weight, improving her health and changing the direction of her life. I have seen the force of their spirit sustain them through the most difficult times.
…..These and many more such women are the inspiration to try to be a better version of oneself.